I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
