Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
