ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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