i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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