Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
