so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
