if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
