there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
