If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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