so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
