I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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