she takes plan B like it's going out of style
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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