At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
