I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
