why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
