Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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