I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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