Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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