lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The ass gains better be worth it
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