I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
