Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
