fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
