she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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