very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
