im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
