im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's shark week go big or go home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
