drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I smell stomach acid.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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