If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
