If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize