Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
