i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
