someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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