I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
