Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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