i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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