You're my little dorito
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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