so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
