I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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