When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
