I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
