Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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