im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
