Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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