You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
