its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
