I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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