I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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