Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
