Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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