Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
they're like a gay fantastic four
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize