I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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