I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Randomize
