I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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