Grow some girl-balls and come out already
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize