I am puke
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize