So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
