weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
