i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize