Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
