Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize