Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
