More tranny stories later!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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