man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
