Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
