i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
