Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
