Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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