i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
