dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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