I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
