I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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