thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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