I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
