yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
